Not only are polar bears dying because of global warming as the environmentalist lobby would like you to believe. Thanks to the wonders of computer generated graphics, they’re now entertaining suicidal thoughts as well.

The fact the polar bear population is thriving is completely irrelevant here. What I am about to discuss really makes no sense. Do not proceed unless you are prepared for some crazy.

Environmentalists with unfettered access to slick animation programs want you to imagine the cuddly wonders throwing themselves off cliffs and resigning themselves to death rather than face the fatal effects of global warming.

All of these virtual animals’ friends and families are gone, you see – they’re the last of their species, alone in a brutal environment caused by mankind’s villainous automobiles.

In case that doesn’t drive the message home, there are images of monkeys hanging themselves and kangaroo laying themselves down on railroad tracks to be hit by an oncoming train. And, it’s all set to that scary, ominous music, the kind that makes teenagers want to buy a whole pile of shirts at Hot Topic and then go home and cut themselves. What kind of world do we live in when the global warming lobby is willing to deploy such dark-eyelined emo tactics to get their point across? (If this was their goal, they really should have done something with a Panda. Makeup is done, duh.)

The irony, of course, is that none of the animals featured behave like this in real life. If they did, they probably would have gone extinct a long time ago. The people who claim to value nature are creating an anthropomorphized version of animal life, one that has more in common with a Pixar-knockoff version of Ferngully than the way the planet actually works. It’s the same unbalanced tendency that motivated PETA to announce their Save the Sea Kittens campaign. In their world, slimy, cold fish that live underwater should be valued as much as soft, purring, domesticated felines.

Life on earth has survived vast, sweeping climate change in the past. It’s pretty much how all our major land formations were made.

Regardless how many digital animals end up offing themselves on the dime of people who believe, despite all evidence to the contrary, that this is something mankind can alter if we only try harder or feel guiltier about it, life will continue to survive. It will survive, and thrive, and make more stupid videos that make me more afraid of my fellow humans than global warming.